Hippie Dreams

Here you go.

Life is so important, too important to waste on frivolous choices. This is the problem with choice. Everything you choose should be your best attempt at perfect alignment with what you really mean, what you really need, what you have to give. Should should should. Fuck should!

If I'm not making the most of my opportunities, then I'm wasting my time. If I'm not being the best of what I could be, then I'm wasting myself. If I just have this habit of locking myself in little rooms for the stupid sake of comfort, then I'm not a freedom-loving hippie, I'm just like them. But there is no them! This is the lesson of Pink Floyd. The division destroys us all. Us and them. No no no no no! Just us! JUST US!

When people's secrets drift through your window. Oh what does it mean. Does it mean everything, is it an ultimate sign, is the world so subjective? Or does it mean nothing, unrelated circumstances, nothing connects? A peace-loving hippie would never have the doubt. I'm Peter on the water.

I think....To feel your demon is to know your god.
It's not above or beyond, please, though I know nothing, I think it must be true, in the most idealized of ways, please no, not above, not beyond, but in front of you, everywhere, around, inside, you're wrapped-up surrounded by god.

Kat, I am reminded of one high time in your basement, it was so amazing, the music was playing and I stared at my shoes, because I was very high and not wanting to give the game away. "Maintaaaain" played through my head, so I avoided all eye contact, play it cool, man, the way they do. Anyway, tiny, frantic strings of light wavered around me, blue, electric, and I could feel the heat of it on my body, like those weird, contained balls of lightning that attract to your fingers when you touch it. A heat like that.

So these two blue beams wavered, and rose slowly, until they were hovering around my eyes. And I was amazed but tried to pretend that I wasn't hallucinating. What a weak one I was, so high to be hallucinating! So I casually looked up, to see the source of the little twitchy blue beams, and it turned out that Kat was looking at me! I was shocked! This was an interesting experience, that much was for sure. I could see Kat's eye-beams. They were blue, and would turn red too. But only blue and red. When she looked over at Rob, they were red.

Ever since, I've had thoughts about what this means. They wavered in the way that eye-focus always wavers. So I wonder if you directly focus your eyes, trying to hold them as still as you can, will that make your focus more potent? Would that change the look of the beams? I suspect that they would grow in strength. So I figure that if you practice holding your gaze, you can send intense eye-beams in a single glance. ..This hasn't led to much, except I've discovered that it helps in seeing auras, for some reason.

But it's a good time to stop the rambling now.

Ally