The Tangles of Questionry

So last weekend, the friends and I had a delightful time beerin' it up at The Tap. Steve and Kelley chilled, being the cool people of the night, jovial and suave. Mike laughed a lot, and Claire's mind did not seem to drift from her art. Paul was full of love and joy, and I laughed and chatted and had a grand old time. We even had a table right by the smoking doors, so we didn't have to stumble across the restaurant to get there - AND the bathrooms were right near by. House seats, I say.

The next day, I barfed, and it was all, "whatever, just a hangover." Then I barfed again, and then again, and then it was evident that I had a stomach flu. So I couldn't go to work and my boss was all cranky and I flipped him the bird in my mind. And then I spent the rest of the day barfing, even when there was nothing to barf.

I've recovered by now, and am preparing for an eventful day full of cleaning and dishes, and of course, chillin with the family at THE KID'S BRAND NEW FARM! It sure took them long enough to move into it, what with the inserting a house into the land and all, but they're finally there. It should be an eventful night full of Smash Bros., DDR, and general hootenanny. AND.......Carly's coming! DUn dun DUUUN! I haven't seen that good ol' midget since around September.

(Note: The midget is a friend who I lived across the street from for years...we always hung out, and created games and ways to pass the time, such as the infamous Man Game, and the intense lego set-ups, and that balloon game, and Buckley and Bobby-Joe's Radio Show, and the bike adventures, and other such things. Also, she's not a midget, she's just really small.)

So hopefully that all goes well. I have a fear of being awkward around her, but that's horribly unlikely, as she's my cosmic twin and no two people could get along better. Like Kristen and Claire.

I have this crazy notion that when I get sick, since I was little, I am able to see the nature of time. No, really. I always knew I was about to get sick when I was young, because I'd close my eyes, and it's like....everything shrunk till it was tiny (including me), and in the next moment, everything would expand and I was big as the world. I saw shrinking and growing cubes and circles, weird geometric shapes that would twist and bend and breathe. Time isn't steady! And it isn't an illusion, it's quite real. Time isn't cyclical or linear. Time makes so much sense when it's mapped out on a calendar, and every day is the same duration, and the moon cycles every 28 days, and the earth cycles 'round the sun every year. It seems so solid. But really, it's really not...it grows and shrinks like when I'm sick, it pushes and pulls, it pulses...a day will move slow, a day will move fast, 10 years go by and you go, "where the hell has the time gone," 2 years crawl by and suddenly you're cruising...I'm sure this has a lot to do with perspective...a day will go by faster for the caffeinated person having one hell of an awesome day.

I don't really have a point, except maybe that time is this mysterious moving thing. (maybe it's somehow connected with gravity?) I think of it as another dimension, beyond us but manipulating us, overlapping this world. (Do all dimensions overlap? Like the ghost land, isn't it supposed to be a foot removed from this world?) Why am I trying to understand these places that are above and beyond what I could ever comprehend? Maybe that's where I'm going next? Maybe there's this place called home that I'm trying to find? Maybe humans are this crazy alien game? Maybe it's interplanetary and not interdimensional? The soul, god in the entire universe, as this weird energy in everything?

Maybe I lived as a human once, long ago, and then I died and went to the next place, a realm of entities working to the next level. Then I did something wrong, and I was kicked out and sent back here, and that would explain some of my more violent dreams, horrible entities that are incredibly pissed off at me for some reason.

And what is it with the levels anyway? We're always working up to higher levels. Even on the physical plane, people trying to be like gods. Hollywood, man. But the spiritual levels...I sense people are above me, and below me. Above and below. Something's on the tip of my tongue. So say we work our way to this next level, past humanity, what's past that? And then, what's past that? Is there a top, and a bottom? Why are we trying to get to the top, anyway? This feels like some sort of video game! Oh man, what if life is really like Mario World 4, where you have to beat this game with all the secrets and shit, and it gets really fucken hard, and then when you finally win, you start all over, and the world is the same but it looks different, like different colors and shit. What if it's really like that? What if I'm building up towards coming back HERE again, where there are slight variations, like maybe george bush is an asassin and kills the current lady president? Or something. Like that book, The Ground Beneath Her Feet.

What is it, what?!

Why do I care?!

It's not like I could know...